Book excerpts from the book:
He concludes that the most important trait of survivors is a “nonself-conscious individualism,” or a strongly directed purpose that is not self-seeking. People who have that quality are bent on doing their best in all circumstances, yet they are not concerned primarily with advancing their own interests. Because they are intrinsically motivated in their actions, they are not easily disturbed by external threats.
Narcissistic individuals, who are mainly concerned with protecting their self, fall apart when the external conditions turn threatening. The ensuing panic prevents them from doing what they must do; their attention turns inward in an effort to restore order in consciousness, and not enough remains to negotiate outside reality.
Without interest in the world, a desire to be actively related to it, a person becomes isolated into himself.
Bertrand Russell, one of the greatest philosophers of our century, described how he achieved personal happiness: “Gradually I learned to be indifferent to myself and my deficiencies; I came to center my attention increasingly upon external objects: the state of the world, various branches of knowledge, individuals for whom I felt affection.”
There could be no better short description of how to build for oneself an autotelic personality.
The peak in the development of coping skills is reached when a young man or woman has achieved a strong enough sense of self based on personally selected goals, that no external disappointment can entirely undermine who he or she is. For some people the strength derives from a goal that involves identification with the family, with the country, or with a religion or an ideology. For others, it depends on mastery of a harmonious system of symbols, such as art, music, or physics.
Unselfconscious self-assurance: Richard Logan .. found one common attitude shared by survivors .. – .. was the implicit belief that their destiny was in their hands. They did not doubt their own resources would be sufficient to allow them to determine their fate. In that sense one would call them self-assured, et at the same time, their egos seem curiously absent: they are not self-centered: their energy is typically not bent on dominating their environment as much as on finding a way to function within it harmoniously.